I am a Year 6 student at Edmund Hillary School in Auckland, NZ. I am in Room 9 and my teacher is Roya. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first draft. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Hi Neha its me Murray I really like how you describe what you see and feel I really enjoy the first paragraph it like a professional writer was writing this story keep up the amesome work and have a great work.
Kia ora Neha, thank you for sharing your descriptive writing. I LOVE your last sentence, it is the perfect way to finish off. I wonder if you could think of any similes or onomatopoeia that you could add?
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Hi Neha its me Murray I really like how you describe what you see and feel I really enjoy the first paragraph it like a professional writer was writing this story keep up the amesome work and have a great work.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Neha, thank you for sharing your descriptive writing. I LOVE your last sentence, it is the perfect way to finish off. I wonder if you could think of any similes or onomatopoeia that you could add?
ReplyDeleteBonjour, Pal this is your friend Mickey i really like your work and i hope you can do better :) your best pal MIckey W Mouse Walt Disney.inc
ReplyDeletehi neha i like how you used the picture in your story
ReplyDelete